Once every couple of years I look forward to going to nepal. I buy tickets with hard earned and saved money, buy gifts for my relatives with so much passion...I land in Tribhuvan International Airport...Then reality sets in. As soon as I enter kathmandu, I cannot wait to come back. Depression, sadness and empathy. I feel terrible for the people I left behind. I feel guilty of having excess stuff, more than I could ever need or use in USA. I visit relatives, just to hear how backwards nepal has gone. How miserable their life is.

Travel in Bus, Micro, etc....same conversation starts...Just the look of the city which I adored has been diminished to chaos. Come back to USA then you cant stop thinking about how lucky you are, how previledged you are to be here.

Has anyone else gone thru the same thing??

 Jantare, you could say the same about our parents and older folks who moved to Kathmandu. I mean, they moved from villages to Kathmandu, and didn't think moving back to villages was a good option. Wouldn't say they were "spoiled". 

Its a human nature that once you make a progress, you don't wish to go back. When you have a bicycle, you might be content with it but once you start riding a car, would you be happy with a motorbike? Once you live in a mansion, would you like to live in apartments? 

Same thing with us, I believe. 

Pixie: Let me tell ya something first before i talk, you are SUCH a materialistic person. If you are a GIRL, then i guess it's normal because i have seen majority of girls turned into materialistic bi$ches. No offense to you.


Reading through your experience, i can assure  that you were expecting same customer service and politeness like U.S in Nepal which is definitely impossible because you can't compare the most developed country in the world to the least developed country in the world. Nepal can't be US and US can't be Nepal. Period. Let's hope it stays the same culturally atleast.


Furthermore,  i hate the sentence  you said with passion " I buy tickets with hard earned and saved money, buy gifts for my relatives with so much passion...I land in Tribhuvan International Airport...Then reality sets in"
Yes the reality sets in but that's where you were born and how you were raised. Atleast respect where you came from and what your ancestors taught you. Don't try to be "Wannabe" American because you will never be called "American". Period.


Nowadays, i am very keen in watching foreign movies just to learn their culture and history. Having watched lot of movies specifically Chinese movies, i learned that China had the most difficult period in the entire history of the world. They suffered civil wars among seven states. Invasion from Japan and even from British has made them so poor that they were living off streets. Poverty was so high that they had no other option than eating anything they could get just like ants, spiders, dogs etc which followed from generation to generation. Now the question is, Why did China become the great economical power next to US?  It's not because US opened lot of industries, it's because Chinese people love their country so much that they would die for it.

For instance, as we all know Bruce lee, a legend was born in San Francisco, CA. But he always felt more Chinese than American. Hence he went to Hongkong, made chinese movies and made it reknowned worldwide. If you watch lot of films,  you can watch him resist again other foreign powers. Similiar goes to Jackie Chan, Jet lee etc who love their country and could die for it.

Last but not least, instead of blaming politicians of Nepal, the responsiblity to develop Nepal falls upon yourself. If you can't contribute, please don't speak against the country where you were raised and the country who gave you the identity you are.

Peace

Sirus_Me

@ sirus_me well said , this is the version of those people, so called citizens, who can not do, and do not want to do anything for their motherland. these people do not deserve to be the real citizen. these people do not have any right to blame the country too.

 footyfan, my parents are  still in village and i'm not from kathmandu. my village doesn't have paved road like kathmandu does, we don't have shpooing malls, no KFCs but we have few chiya pasals, no movie theatres, no health posts, let alone hospitals. and still i can adapt in that little village surrounded by hills on all four sides when i go back.
btw, i used to have a motorbike back home before i came here. rode it all around the country, had fun riding it. here in the states, i have a bicycle which i use to get around the town. i carry my backpack when i go to grocery and stuff as much as possible inside it and ride back home with a 40 pound backpack on my back. and sometimes i do double trips if i can't fit everything in my backpack at once. do i miss riding my motorbike back home? yes i do, but i don't hate america for not making it feasible for me to have a motorbike or a car.

i live here in a heated, air conditioned apartment. when i went home, it was hot as hell because there is no A/C, the only A/C you get is the cool breeze of air. it was hard for the first few days, but i got used to it. it rained 2-3 days a week. muddy road, and riding motorbike on that road was not fun. i slipped, fell down, hurt myself a few times. and let me tell you what, i got into a pretty bad but lucky accident in kathmandu - was hit by a press van and was almost crushed. but do i hate nepal for having no A/C, muddy roads on rainy season and crazy traffic that might kill you? no, because that's ther real life out there. it may not apply to you because you are too used to american comfort but for me, i love being back home. nomatter how dirty, dusty, unmanaged, and "uncivilized(as you might say)" Nepal is, it is still the place i grew up in.

it is human nature to want and progress more. i agree with you on that. but if one seeks all the good things and tries to stay away from challenges and adversities just because he thinks it's hard and his "human nature" doesn't want him to do that, that's just rubbish.

I visited Nepal in 2009. There was 20 hrs load shedding

1. If you are ready to spend 3000 $   you can have 8 cfl lamps, computer and Tv running. with solar electricity. 
2. Very big problem of water but there is a way, if you have a land  where deep boring is possible, one need to spend about 30,000$  
you will have 24 hrs running water. ( but you need to have a place where you can do deep boring.
3. These days you can arrange utilities payments through banks.
4.Bars/rsturents, hopeless I tried some of them it was bad experience. So we brothers agreed to have party every alternate day at home, chickens, khasi ko masu, chiura salad ra beer. It is possible all you want to eat fro approx 20$/person
5. You can visit local [Disallowed String for - castist reference]i resturent ( some of hem are really good) enjoy good food for 10 dollars (except beers)
6. Most important to have is relatives
7. I spent 45 days. use bike. no car. and dont use public transport from 8 am to 10 am and 4 pm till 7 pm (rush hrs) avoid that .
8. Yope, thats our country we grew up in that environment when we were kids NRN visiting us used to say that about us but we managed to excel in education able to go abroad and mark our presence. Now we are saying that to others living there. one day they will do the same. it is a cycle.
9. I enjoyed the  visit. 

I prefer to go back to Nepal and Serve my own Country.
Being as a immigrant, we are always a second class person in USA, which is what i hate hate hate most most most.
In Nepal, my house has 24 hour electricity-coz generator, 24 hour cold/hot water-coz water/solar line, one bike or public transport to travel, Dad and mom, helpful relatives and friends, have a great respect from juniors. The only problem is traffic jam. I don't think there will be any problem eating at bhatti, local momo/samosa pasal, which is what i prefer most. I prefer to marry to same Nepali girl who hadn't seen "naramro- outer world".
I would setup my own business or/and work in private/government job. I don't like to work here as a lowing paying job and never.

This is my personal feeling, it varies with other person's judgement,background and circumstances.

We, nepalese, are a bunch of f**king retards. None of us love our country enough to die for her or even serve her. All we know how to do is complain, complain, complain. Reality is harsh but in order to get Nepal out of the sh**hole it is in right now, everyone of us has to do something not just talk about it. The older generation has done enough talking. It is on us, the younger generation to do something and make it better. What do you guys say??

i wud understand if u were born abroad but isn't that where u come frm? u go there to visit not to live so quit comparing 'n compaining...thats how people survive over there....go there to visit ur family, frens, ur loved ones...ain't that why u go there? or u just wanted to impress 'n show off?
idk about u but i saw awesome restaurants in ktm....plenty of them...'n they were clean
bars in thamel were amazing

I agree with all of you. There are pros and cons of staying in America and going back to Nepal.
After staying in US for five years, I have decided that I won't return permanently at least till the situation improves back home. Life is short so we should enjoy it but staying responsible. Its nice to go back for few weeks to visit family and go for treking; that way you will not miss Nepal and yet enjoy the free life in America.
We are second class citizen here but think how this place has changed in a good way...

 "I have decided that I won't return permanently at least till the situation improves back home."
Well, guess what? Nobody is going to improve situation back home. Like I said earlier in this thread and in other threads (previous threads that existed before you were born on sajha), it's you who need to learn to re-cope with the environment you left behind or work yourself to change the "situation". So called patriots and politicians have done nothing for past few decades besides talking and I don't see why I should expect them to do something good now. Everyone like you and I wants Nepal to be developed so that we can go back and live a good life like we are living here in the State but there are only a few who go back and at least try to make that happen. Are you wiling to help those who have gone back? Are you wiling to work hard back home to make Nepal prosperous like you want? I guess you are not because during your 5 years of US stay you've "enjoyed the free life in America" so much that you don't have guts to go back and face the challenges you used to have for your breakfast and dinner. And moreover, you are too happy here being "second class citizen" and enjoying "how this place has changed in a good way", arent you?

Mother Teresa once went to India and said that she saw "happy poverty" I think what she meant is that people do not have to be rich to be happy. The western style of life brings too much micro stress to daily life. Personally I am tired of this lifestyle here. I would be much happier back home. I do not want to be second class citizen here. Actually I am already planning on going back home. A few more months and off I go...Yippie !!!!

Here is a case of philippines

Despite poverty, crisis and corruption, how is it that the Philippines is still considered one of the happiest places on earth? 
 

 Here are a few filipino perceptions  I liked

1.  We are content with life's simple pleasures.

2. We are an optimistic lot.

3. It is our nature to be happy.

4. We are used to all sorts of crisis.

5. We are resilient and patient.

6. We face everything with a smile.

7 .Being poor can be a blessing.

8. The poor have simple needs and they are easier to please.

9. Happy go luck


In context to Nepal I agree with Jantare and anon .Its about time we face our challenges ourselves. If we don't do it then who will???   If not now when ???

Please don't be a lil sissy and whine about the country when you have decided to run away and leave the problem to someone else.

 Pixie, where had you gone? :( 

Unless we  are visionary like Steve Jobs, there is no need to no back. How is that going to help our country. Unemployment is already high. We will be taking somebodies' jobs. The U.S. military deploys thousands of troops abroad which creates jobs here in the U.S. So the logic is same.

People always say they wil go back once the situation in Nepal improves. But who is gonna improve it? Do you seriously think it will improve while we sit back here and complain? I dont think so.

 Present day Kathmandu is not the Kathmandu that I grew up. Decade long civil war is the main reason behind this mess. 

I don't really understand why people keep insisting that we all need to return back to help Nepal change. How did India change? Because all the docs, scientists and businessmen in the US and everywhere else returned back? 

What is a guy who's studied MBA from the US or done his/her CPA going to do in Nepal? Its not like whatever knowledge/education he's attained is going to bring some great changes all of a sudden. MBAs in Nepal are as talented (if not better) than the MBAs from the US. 

Nepalese who attended US Universities in 50s,60s,70s or 80s have gone back,too. Its not like Nepalese only started coming to the States in the 2000s. 

For Nepal to change and develop, the people living inside the country need to bring changes to themselves. You're living in delusion if you think Nepal will only change if we all returned back. Nepal's already changing (for some good, and many bad). Compare Kathmandu to how it was 10 years ago. 20-storeyed buildings, Apartment complexes, Malls are just some of the examples. 

I don't really understand why people launched some scathing attacks at the girl who expressed her opinion based on what she saw. You move from a jhopad patti into a concrete building and you don't like going back to the jhopad patti. It's completely natural - not an uncommon phenomenon. Of course all Nepalese born and raised in Nepal will love some aspects but why can't one view Nepal's present condition with a rationale? When you see people pissing in Central Park (Ratna Park) or taking a dump in the footpaths, what are you supposed to feel about it, having not seen such an occurrence in a number of years? 

Glad to read partiotic blogs. I am elated to know that at least 10 people from Sajha are going to return Nepal after completing their goals and Nepal is going to a better place in next 20 years. I pray with god that you stick to what you have written.
Noone can judge others based on what one decides to do with his future. Decision to stay in America is nither illegal not unethical. Its a human nature to strive for the best possible option one has on hand. I have worked hard in this country to achieve what I have today and I won't let it go.
For those who have decided to return, good luck.

it is totally a personal choice.  Like Dr babu said it is not unethical, wrong or cowardly whatever you choose to do.  If you feel you have an obligation to serve back home then you are the right candidate.  If you worked hard here, put together your life you might has well stay here.  None of the above will make you less of a nepali so be proud of who you are live your life rightfully and happily.