I think the career women should not waste too much of their time searching for husbands who are in the long run going to be just a big pain. They will never ever try to understand the women and there will always be combatibility issues which can create problem in the relationshiips. Instead there are other ways to make your life worthful. Why do women need men ? Isn't it because the society created it? Will a women without a man die? No so why ??
lots of women in America are facing this same problem that many Nepalese women are having right now. That is successful women having hard time finding good husbands. I know the men will always come to th e forum and write this and that and act as if they have really changed but in the end these same 30 something men will diss the carier oriented Nepali women from America and go to Nepal and marry relatively submissive wives. And the career women here will just moan and moan ....

There are alternative ways of having family life as well. Single women should adopt children and take care of them. The wworld already has 6 billion people and that's too many why do we need more babies when there are millions who are dyiing without proper care, house and Family. Angelina Jolie has done this , Jessica Simpson is planning to do this and renne Zeweelger is also planning. O.K fine they are actresses they earn big money, but there are other women who are just in ordinary proffessions and they are doing it too . Nepalese career oriented women should also think of that.

Every year millions of female babies are abandaned in China.Do you know who gives them home. The single career oriented American women. If they can do why can't Nepali women do it too. In America a women can do anything if she has a reasonably good salary like buy a property or a car. So they can equally provode for the Children like a man. There is no use wasting time and saying men should do this or men should do that. nepali women should also take actions like American women. Read some of these articles and see for yourself how these women's life have been enriched

http://jscms.jrn.columbia.edu/cns/2005-03-15/anderson-oldermoms
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,192759,00.html
http://mattes.home.pipeline.com/
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1264/is_n5_v23/ai_12536593

http://www.rainbowkids.com/2005/04/stories/nepal_adoption.chtml

hehehehahahah another one:
Sajahuser is going to dice you then grind you and make your paste and eat with her pasta for lunch...hahahaha:P

No Sajha user won't
He/She will read the post carefully and think a lot about it

us why dont you adopt chinese children than.

career woman find its tough because woman by nature try to find a guy who is more succeful than herself. It is rare to see woman marrying a guy who is less educated than herself unles the guy has lots of money and there is no need for him for good education. I am saying in the context of nepalese woman.

A married + carrier woman ofNepal will have far more problems than a woman who decides just to adopt. It is because a married women will have many household responsibilities as well, like she will have to do the cooking , cleaning,, look after the husband's parents, extended family and relatives and also doing the work in outside as well. that is far too much work load. And she will also be expected to be perfect in both which is way too hard.On top of that if the Husband and the Husband's family are not supportive then she will have more problems to handle. i know that there are some families who are not even that supportive. When i was a young student I used to know a relative of mine who had her daughter in law or Buhari going to work. Do you know what this women used to do ...she used to go from one house to another and used to tell them how her buhari leaves all the work for her to do ...which was actually completely false. So see you can just guess the amount of social pressure there is for the women.

Where as if she just adopts the child she will have to take care of only the child only. Lots of women are doing it. Even women in South Asia like Raveena Tandon and Susmita Sen have adopted children. They also had compatibility issues. Could be because of men's Chauvinism. But adoption has given them another chance. Adoption gives chance to any women. You can have both family and career and you don't have to worry wat the husband wil think say if you had to work till 9pm in the office just because you wanted to work hard and wanted a promotion. You can control your own life

What I meant to say is there is Don Corleone inside almost every man. i wrote it even in my previous post that American men are not marrying American women.
They prefer to get wives from Eastern Asia and Russia. Just look at the rising number of dating agencies. American women have become very equal to men so these men they go to other countries.



So why should women fight . And even if they fight what will happen in the end.....there will be name callings to the women onlyl ike ....loud mouthed, feminist, whiner, high maintainence women etc etc. So best if women find alternatives. Now that even sociologists and health experts have proven that a women can raise a child by herself, why should not women think of doing that.
Also Please visit this website http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/3540763.stm

From this it is also clear that government of some countries have no restrictions with single women adopting child then what is the problem!!in fact tehy are encouraging single women to adopt.

So what I am trying to say is that ...men will not change ...although they might say women should have rights etc.....they will still prefer the traditional wife....I know it is sad.
Have you ever noticed why Japan's birth rate is so low....its about 1.29. Japan has become developed and women are doing very well but they do not want to get married. Reason being Japanese men are very traditional. They expect women to do all the house work. Not just in japan but in Korea as well.
Researchers are saying that japanese and Russians will be the first people to be extinct and in the world and they blame it on the women. But is it reallly the women to be blamed.????

Another thing I do not like in Asian countries is the prefernce for sons over daughters. I have generally seen that sasus always expect their daughter in laws to give them Natis over Natinis ...And husbands who prefer sons over daughters ...why? So these all things I guess do not incourage women to get married that much.
i think women who leave in America at least they have another chance ..that is adoption.
Had they been in Nepal would they would be able to this?? Western countries are more open towards single parent adoption
Think about how many poor children there are in this world. Does anyone have any idea how many women get trafficked from Nepal because they are just too poor and have no options. I have read that some girls are as young as 13-14. And lets not forget the countless girls and boys who have to work by cleaning peoples house, utensils and sustain their lives. There are so many children who need a proper house and education.The career women should definately look for husbands ...but if they find that there are men who are not able to provide them with the respect that they deserve, there are alternatives as well.

Yeah true, a well educated women will always look for better husband, somebody who has more education than them. But Bidhan...do you know who gets benifited in this game...it will be men. On one hand they will have all the educated women trying to get them and onthe other hand they will have not so educated women...also lining up for them ...so there will always be a better selection for them. And in most situatiions I have seen men go for looks. And the careeer women they get angry.
i have also generally seen than men who have better carrier have this tendency 'Girls just come to me', that is becase women are attracted to men with good income and power. And this puts men at a higher position.

I guess this whole thing is natural process. Women look up and Men look down.
What i want to say is that women with career have other options as well . they should not try to revolvetheir life around a man and feel themselves incomplete. By doing this they are putting men at even higher position.
Chinese babies are really cute, I would love to adopt them some day.

yeah chinese baby are cute but when they grow up they become ugly. although few are nice.

secondly, why would a woman more educated than me would be looking for me ? I think man is always in loss. unless man is superqualified there is less chance for them to get good educated girls because girl who is more qualifeid will never accpet him. and we all know there are not large superqualified man in nepal.

I dont know if girls get angry when man go for looks and ignore qualified girls. I think a well educated girl should have no problem in findiing a good guy if she stops looking someone in better position than herslef.

You cannot generalise everybody by one example. I think by your statement it seems like you hate men and feel like carreer woman who works when marries always gets into trouble which i dont believe.

i dont need to see any example. My familiy itself is an example on how most of the time my mom (not my dad ) took intiative.

US, going thru all your long posting what I found was Nepalese career oriented women who leave in America at least they have another chance ..that is adoption.You sounds like you are the voice of all those career oriented nepalese women who live in America. Having said that what you fail to recognize is there are tons of carrer oriented women who loves to have their own kids rather than adopting from other country. Just giving one or two general or personal examples does not speak for the rest of the carrier oriented nepalies women. If you want to take an example then my dad is well reputed dr. and my mother is more famous dr than my father. I don't see any tension between their carrer. Other than carrer issues hey its life there is always ups and downs. Also let me point out they raised us well. I am sure we turn out to be nice kids :P ;)

I know what US is doing in hee.

He is just creating market for his new poduct: chinese babies.

These days eveythin you can find in US is made in china. I bet US is thinkin about peoducing babies in china for less and sellng them to US customers. Target customers for these newborns would be single women, who can't have babies of their own.

One day US is gonna put a banner AD on sajha fontpage:

BABIES FOR SALE. BUY CUTE CHINESE BABIES FOR JUST $1999.

US, What will happen to men if all the single women become career oriented and stat buyin chinese babies?

More of this?

US,

"The career women should definately look for husbands ...but if they find that there are men who are not able to provide them with the respect that they deserve, there are alternatives as well."

I tend to agree with your analysis of social challenges faced by career oriented women, esp. by Nepalese women who are highly educated and qualified. I also respect your progressive idea about adopting kids from underdeveloped countries.

Every woman may not be as great as mother Teresa but there are alternatives (as you have already mentioned) to achieve motherhood.

US - There is too much generalization about both men and women in this argument to have a sensible and meaningful discussion around it. Men and women are equal and if someone doesn't think so, then that's their problem, and they will lose out in life with that kind of an attitude. Each relationship has it's own power dynamics and is unique in terms of the 'balance of power', if you will, between the man and the woman. Getting into a marriage or any sustainable relationship requires both the man and woman to compromise and if people cannot do this, and look at relationships from purely a civil rights and human rights perspective, then I feel they won't be successfull in any relationship with *anyone* - man or woman.

As for adoption, I agree, there are too many kids out there who need caring, and it is certainly an alternative to having your own kids for both career oriented women *and* men.

The bottom line is there has got to be mutual respect, and as long as that is there, it's much easier to sort through any issues that may arise in the course of a relationship.

Peace on earth, goodwill to all, and happy friday!

:)

what a stupid thread...,what makes you feel that only carrieer oriented people should adopt children...your examples are stupid enough..from your example there should be no married women..don't compare between america and asia...and especially japan...it is fact that japan is so expensive so people don't want to get married...cost of baby only cost lots of money...so either women need to give up their work or just be house wive with little money...what a stupid example of that american actress..do you want to compare them with normal people like us...those people have plenty of money as well as plenty of time to think about adoption...if you have good amount of money than people will start thinking about adoption..and those actress all of them live in with their boyfriend ..why should we adopt those chinese baby..there are tons of baby in our country also ......
and hey there are tons of example of carrier oriented women getting married and have happy life...and why american guy don't prefer american girl??? that is also stupid reason..guy no matter where they are from which country they are from ..all the boy have same mentality...ohh virgin girl...generalizing all american girl of their character...i have found this from hanging out with lots of stupid american friend....

A carrier woman and a man do not guarantee a successful relationship. It rather depends on the mutual understandings and compromises from both the parties. A low incoming woman could marry a highly paid man and still live happily together and vice versa.

Regarding your adoption stories, it’s again a personal choice. As you have said American women come in the big picture regarding Chinese babies adoptions. It is probably because of the diverse culture and the high-income rate. Nepalese women are behind because we still are in the developing stage. Women have just started to come out of the cave and started exploring the world. So spare them and give them a little time. :)

Why only China in the main frame? Take Africa or Nepal for example. I bet they have babies to be taken care of as well. Btw babies are babies, be it a boy or a girl. :)

Happy Friday!!!

ss47k: You japan is expensive to raise children but how can you explain the article below

I won't get married!

Over tea in the sunlit lobby of the Akasaka Prince Hotel near the Imperial Palace in downtown Tokyo, and later over soba noodles and chicken yakatori at a nearby restaurant, Japanese writer and television personality Yoko Haruka describes the shortcomings of love and marriage Japanese-style. The husband works long hours and carouses into the night with his pals from work. The wife is expected to stay home, clean house and take care of kids. If the children behave badly, she's a bad mother. If her husband has an affair, she's a bad wife.

The author of Kekkon Shimasen (I Won't Get Married!), Haruka abandoned her own plans for marriage a decade ago when she realized her fiancé wanted her to give up her career and lead the traditional life of a Japanese housewife. She says Japanese men sometimes propose to women with lines like: "I want you to cook miso soup for me the rest of my life." Not surprisingly, Japan's increasingly educated and well-traveled young women are not impressed.

"I'm not expecting men will change," Haruka says.

Her assistant, Miho Higuchi, who has kept silent throughout the conversation, suddenly blurts out: "Never again!" A mother of three, she divorced her husband because he refused to do anything to help her clean house and take care of the kids.

In fact, Japan's divorce rate rose steadily to 2.3 divorces for every 1,000 people in 2002 from 1.3 in 1990; it appears to have dropped a bit last year, partly because fewer people have been getting married. (The divorce rate in the USA was 4 per 1,000 people in 2002. )

As for men, they seem bewildered by the rising assertiveness of Japanese women.

"Men are getting weaker," says Takayuki Tokiwa, 23, a student at a Tokyo vocational college. "Women don't have to rely on men anymore. They can live on their own."

Masahito Wakauchi, 24, would seem to be a good catch. He has fashionably wavy hair and a good job with an advertising agency in Tokyo. Is he dating? Wakauchi shakes his head sadly.

"It's very, very difficult" to meet women these days, he says.

Rather than risk rejection or summon the energy to maintain a modern relationship, many Japanese men simply pay for affection in the country's ubiquitous hostess bars and brothels.

Others prefer virtual women online to the real kind. "They seem to find the relationship cumbersome. ... You have to be attentive to your partner," says Kunio Kitamura, president of the Japan Family Planning Association's Family Planning Clinic. "A quick way to get satisfaction is so-called cybersex."

In fact, as many as a million young men — mostly teenagers, but increasingly older men as well — suffer from what is known here as hikikomori. It's a condition in which they seclude themselves in their rooms for weeks at a time (though the causes seem to go well beyond fear of women to traumatic experiences from the past, such as being bullied at school).

But most young Japanese seem to enjoy the single life. In 1973, a Japanese government survey found that the happiest people in the country were those over age 60. A similar survey 24 years later found that the happiest people were in their 20s, and twentysomething women were the happiest of all: 77.7% said they were content with their lives. Maybe Gloria Steinem was right: Women need men like fish need bicycles.

Many young Japanese women live carefree lives, staying at home with their parents, paying little if any rent, letting their mothers cook their meals, clean their rooms and do their laundry. Many work dead-end jobs that don't pay much but don't cause much stress and give them enough spending money to buy designer handbags, shoes, clothes and jewelry and enough time to take overseas holidays with their girlfriends.

Emerging from the Louis Vuitton shop on Namikibashi street in the heart of the Ginza shopping district, Tokyo secretary Yukiko Matsumoto, 38, says she's happily single and living at home with herparents.

"I don't want to change my rhythms," she says. "Men expect women to stay home and take care of them." Not likely: Matsumoto travels abroad twice a year with her best friend and shopping companion, Terumi Yanagibashi, 38. They've already been to Hawaii together three times.

Also if you have time you can rad this news as well
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3694230.stm


Same sort of reasons why women in Taiwan and Korea are not getting maried as well.
Prem Charo,flip flop and SS74k I was just giving examples of Chinese babies. What I meant to say was adoptin in general with single women is increasing. Its your coice who you want to adopt, chinese, Nepalise, Africans, Guatemalans, Russians.... its up to you. i was just trying to give example.
Yes I also agree that women want to have their own children but what can you do when
the women is not able to find a man who treats her equally.
I also found out that lots of single black women in Careers are preferring adoptions over marriage.(Reference:http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_1_61/ai_n15770853)

People might think I am stupid / crazy but I have a point and i know that for sure.

we should not misunderstand the real meaning of equality. It is the equality of 'respect'. what is respecting? It's not bowing your head everyday to your inlaws. It's not calling your spouse "hajur". But it's making an effort to understand the other sex's problem. So a woman should try to understand a man's problem and a man should try to understand a woman's problem. Often in nepal, a man doesn't understand a woman's problem. But it doesn't mean that all men are like that. There are men who do understand and know how much a woman can love. And there are women who know how much a man can love her.

If one thinks that he or she cannot ever respect the other sex, then there might be problem with oneself. The environment in which the person grew up make a whole lot of difference.

Jesus Christ!
so many people discouraging women with career!! but that'll actually encourage those women!
this subject so stupid, the plot is "do not look for big career or men won't marry you" like that's plain silly!

I think it is what you think! you don't want women to be genius, maybe you would wanna marry an uneducated dumb woman back in Nepal so that you could humiliate her all your life!I think, decent/nice men actually look for women with brain, looks and personality! atleast its what i think!
For me, i dont think husbands and wives should be jealous of eachother's success or think of "who's better" but appreciate it! :)

and oh gimme a break, you said "the career women here will just moan and moan .... "

I think you're very stupid. Smart women wouldnt cry for men, okay, they can get as many men they want!

and you also said "dont give birth to babies but adopt babies" which dont make sense either, I think every women (most) have a dream of becoming aa mother one day, adopting is a different thing! like you're tying to tell us "stop giving birth to babies" right?

this is the reason i hate nepali men (these kind of) they have full of jealousy in them, they cannot stand their wives success, they always wanna be ahead of them, it's not like they should be behind either!

they always think they are "it"! jesus christ!