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bfaithful
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Posted on 03-27-07 9:09
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So many young men and women seem to be perplexed while deciding to get married. ..what do u all think that a ideal gal or boy would be to get married specially in the US?
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Guinthe
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Posted on 03-27-07 9:19
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well, that's a toughy .... let's first take the 'ideal' out of the context ... and try to find one who's simply human ... rest should be all good and easy! Remember the saying - good things happen to good people? Believe me, it does! Happiness to you all - always!
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Xena
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Posted on 03-27-07 10:38
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Good things happen to good people? Hmmm..I wish that was true. But, let's be optimistic hoina? About ideal partner, yep, humanity is the most the important thing...ani after that...someone who has a bloody good job. Achal ko jamanama, 2 people need a decent job to survive :D
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republican
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Posted on 03-28-07 1:35
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I'm curious what qualifies as a decent job. Is it like a minimum X amount of salary? Or a job with a certain 'status' to it. Like I work for a respected company but my wife makes more money than me as a waitress. Who has the more 'decent' job? But she says that even if I was driving a truck, she would not feel any different about me : ) (To clarify, I think driving a truck is a decent job as well).
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Xena
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Posted on 03-28-07 2:24
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Good one, republican. I guess everyone will have different opinion to this question. For me, as long as you can support your family and live comfortably, that's a decent job. And by decent I mean no drug dealing, pros, etc that harms anyone. Ani, like U mentioned republican, U have status re and your wife earns more than U as a waitress..waah! that's a great combination ;) U get both money and status within a family. Gaajab chha :D
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bfaithful
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Posted on 03-28-07 7:27
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Oh..looks like LOVE does not matter or ? Well then I guess arranged marriage should not be a problem. Love after marriage I mean to say..There was a news on CNN yesterday that in India, "parents pick the bride but divorce rate below 2%". Sounds intersting..wll debating point is Love after marriage or marriage after Love, still thinking which sounds better...have a good day u all. Thanks.
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republican
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:06
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The divorce rate is rather misleading. It doesn't necessarily mean that 98% of the marriages are happy. You have to take into account the fact that there's a social stigma attached to divorce in societies like in India which prevent even people in abusive relationships to get a divorce. In Western societies, you see the other end of the spectrum where people divorce at an alarming rate because they don't have the patience to work through problems and society doesn't really care if you are divorced. But I certainly wouldn't look at the 2% divorce rate in India and assume that 98% of the marriages are working out fine.
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republican
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:13
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Btw, I didn't say I have 'status'. I wouldn't want to think that way. When you start worrying about status, you are worrying about what society thinks of you. I say just worry about your loved ones and let others think what they may. Doesn't matter how much you or your partner earns, if you provide each other with the care, loyalty and companionship, life will be much happier even if you don't have a big house with two cars.
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Xena
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:20
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Love does matter..but I guess it comes later. About the divorce rate, I believe that either love marriage or arranged marriage has both equal chance. People can change after whatever type of marriage they go through so the only difference between love and arranged is the way you meet. So guys and girls, go ahead and do either of them. And republican, abha haami Nepali bhayera ta STATUS is important to us. But abha kabata sapai status huncha ra hai? But yup, can't help it..its in our nepali blood. Status nai chaincha justai cha. Oh, here is a picture of a CUTE couple! Waah! Kya jordi :D
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Xena
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:21
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Love does matter..but I guess it comes later. About the divorce rate, I believe that either love marriage or arranged marriage has both equal chance. People can change after whatever type of marriage they go through so the only difference between love and arranged is the way you meet. So guys and girls, go ahead and do either of them. And republican, abha haami Nepali bhayera ta STATUS is important to us. But abha kabata sapai status huncha ra hai? But yup, can't help it..its in our nepali blood. Status nai chaincha justai cha. Oh, here is a picture of a CUTE couple! Waah! Kya jordi :D For more info: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/03/28/china.tall.ap/index.html
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inzamam
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:26
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Woh............i wonder how are things in bed?????????????????/
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Xena
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:38
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Why don't U go to their house and peek in? Hopefully that should satisfy ur curiosity...sicko. Just enjoy the damn picture ok? Dhayrai na soch.
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dyamn
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:40
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" Doesn't matter how much you or your partner earns, if you provide each other with the care, loyalty and companionship, life will be much happier even if you don't have a big house with two cars" Well Said Republican. Some lazy girls want to marry rich and well set husbands for easy life. They often marry old men, or marry men with children or men with history of bad relationships knowingly, as if they would rather take chance to marry a rich guy while betting their future than marrying a poor but nicer guy. This is nothing but some insecurities and gold digging attitude that is florished since they were little by their parents.. However, things have slowly changed. Although the numbers of gold diggers have not changed there are more educated and smart ladies who can take care of themselves. They tend to depend less on their husbands and more on thier career. One of the many things that i take pride of being Nepali is arrange marriages. Although it has not worked for me and i have been rejected by gils and i have rejected some of them, i think, it is the best way to go without a messy relationships with physcos and heartbreaks.Most Nepali when they marry they don't have to worry about paying child support to another lady. And when they're more than 40 they don't have to go look poeple up in online dating. They'll have wives at house. See the thing is even in the west most marriages are arranged. they go to church, their relatives hook them up, or their friends hook them up in bars, restaurants, parites etc... why are their marriages love marriages and ours arranges. so arrange marriages= well planned, clean, marriage with prospect = lasts longer... hatti chappal jastai baliyo ra bharpardo...2% devorce rate in india... love marriag= hook up marriage= hormonal enraged, momentarly attraction = short term life more than 60% devorce rate of USA..
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AznshawtY
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:44
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gahugoro
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:45
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I agree with republican about the divorce rate in India. It's the same thing in Nepal as well. No matter what divorce is never an option for a couple. People chose rather to live a life in hell than giving a divorce, and then some argue that it's working fine based on the statistics of divorce. Especially, it's very hard for women living as a housewife. She can never think of divorce as she always tends to think divorce would lead to more suffering than the current level of pain. I always like to read and still not miss reading the section 'Sata ko Grihini' on 'Saptahiki'. What I personally think is that most don't speak the truth; it's obvious as it's almost impossible to reveal the truth in the public. But still I'm addicted reading that particular section. We give more importance to 'status', 'salary', and we forgot completely about the one from my 'caste'. May be 'status' means already those included in the category of my 'caste'. To those looking for 'status', will you marry a guy with very good status but very rude, selfish and uncaring husband and a successful career or the one with mediocre job but very nice, loyal, and caring guy? I deliberately didn't address 'love' because I take it more as a relative term as I don't know the definition of it.
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dyamn
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:58
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that does not necessarly mean it is bad; when you don't have option to fail, you pass. when you don't have option to drop out you graduate, when you don't have option to die you live.. when you don't have option to devorce you work it out...
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republican
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Posted on 03-28-07 11:59
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Lol! She's 5 '6. Quite tall but a baby compared to him. Xena, its not in the blood, its in the minds. And in my opinion its wrong. Specially because we tend to focus on hereditary status. Like people staking claim on their parents' wealth and achievements. Same when it comes to marriages when people look at the bride or groom's parents' wealth and status and how much thought really goes into the character and potential of the bride/groom itself? Recipe for disaster I say! The focus should be on the individual and not on the status of his/her family. Sure it plays a big part in our society, but my opinion is that it should play a very small part in the decision. To alter Martin Luther King's line a little bit "Don't judge a person by status, but by the content of his/her character"!
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gahugoro
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Posted on 03-28-07 12:06
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I didn't say it's good or bad. What I mean is that 2% divorce rate doesn't say anything. Making a conclusion based on that poor biased number is wrong. You're right. It works out when we don't have the options. But if given an environment for good society with unbiasness, wrong judgements, and opportunities of remarriage for both genders, independent wives, I'm sure that divorce rate would jump. It happens with either love or arranged marriage in our society. It may seems higher divorce rate in love marriage, but I think that it has more to do with woman having more education, jobs and financial independence rather than just because they had a love marriage. So I strongly disagree about the conclusion you made about love marriage though I'm heading towards arranged marriage myself.
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Xena
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Posted on 03-28-07 12:21
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Republican, waah! waah! U hit the jackpot with Luther's statement. I know its not in the blood, but that's the typical statement when one believes he/she can't change :D Blame it on the blood k. Yea, nepali ppl have this habit of looking at family ko wealth. As long as the guy is capable of earning good income, who cares what his family have. Baau ko saampati khayera some guys are so proud of themselves...seen alot of those...it's pretty disgusting. Anyway, love or arranged marriage ko tension na linu, manchey haru. Whatever god gives, take it :D
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dyamn
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Posted on 03-28-07 12:24
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and have you or any westerner done any research if the 98% of the people who've stayed in their marriages are unhappy and forcefully staying with their partners given the social pressure? isn't that a bias thing to do too, to assume that majority of 98% are forced to live together? Our culture teaches us to compromise and work out... that is something we should be proud of..
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