Girija Prasad on his Delhi tour (Satire)
-By Krishna Jwala Devkota
Dear readers, what you are reading now is just speculation. Both the questions and answers are a result of speculation. But Delhi is the name of a real city and Girija Prasad Koirala is the real name of the current Nepali Congress president. That he has gone to Delhi is not speculation, either. Likewise, it?s no more a matter of speculation that Dr Baburam Bhattarai and Bam Dev Gautam have already gone there and that the King is also willing to go there. But the dialogue that follows is speculation. We are in an era of permanent censorship or permanent (pure) speculation. Therefore, let?s read this speculation, one with Girija Prasad:
Sketch coutesy : Nepal Magazine
Question: You did go to Delhi, no?
Girija Prasad: (Hesitating) ya,?I did.
Q: All go to Delhi, but hesitate to concede. Why this ungratefulness towards Delhi?
GP: Ask next question. I don?t have time.
Q: Why did you go to Delhi?
GP: I went because I went.
Q: That is not an answer.
GP: I went to the south.
Q: Why did you go to the south?
GP: Who from Nepal did not go to the south? We all are south-tilted in tradition, religion and culture. We all Nepalese. Buddha went to the south. So did Sita. And king Tribhuvan. Baburam ji and Bam Dev ji recently went there. Now, I here rumours about the King going there. Why did the others go?
Q: Why did you go?
GP: Because democracy is in crisis.
Q: In Delhi?
GP: No, in Nepal.
Q: What is the relation between the democracy crisis in Nepal and Delhi?
GP: I say, there is a relation. The relation is that there is a relation.
Q: What does Delhi say?
GP: Delhi is in favour of democracy.
Q: Delhi provides arms to the Royal government. Delhi is in favour of Democracy. Delhi wants to expand the relationship with the Maoists. Are there three Delhis?
GP: Yes, there is also an Old Delhi. Very interesting. I and my elder brother (BP Koirala) had been there once. Much earlier.
Q: Which Delhi did you go to this time?
GP: New Delhi. New Delhi is in favour of democracy.
Q: What?s there in Delhi that pulls everyone from Nepal?
GP: Delhi has the Kutubminar. It has the Lalkila. And what not?
Q: What does Delhi want?
GP: Democracy.
Q: In India?
GP: No, in Nepal. In all the 75 districts. Democracy is in crisis here.
Q: Because of whom?
GP:?
Q: I asked, because of whom?
GP: What I say is this is a very old question. This did have meaning till ?October 4?; after ?February 1?, it lost relevance. I say I have been demoted to a smaller villain now. Don?t satire me.
Q: Did you meet president Abdul Kalam Ajad in Delhi?
GP: Yes, I did. I am a fan of his hair. I too had a liking for hair, at some point of time. But it?s no more now. Not the liking, the hair!
Q: What did you two talk about?
GP: About hair for sometime. That how big a hard work it is to care for long hair. And- for sometime- about his hometown Haidarabad. It?s much hot in Haidarabad these days.
Q: And with Manmohan?
GP: Manmohan is a Punjabi. He wears a turban. The Punjabis are hard working. They grow big cauliflowers.
Q: My question was not about turbans; it?s about your dialogue with him.
GP: We held a dialogue on different subjects. Like, Delhi?s crowd. The suddenly shot-up prices of pomegranates. The physical discomforts of old age. We held a nice discussion.
Q: You must have talked about Ashrams with Chandrashekhar?
GP: Correct. The Bhodasi Ashram is very peaceful and beautiful. I also like peace, sometimes.
Q: That means Delhi didn?t give you any political indication?
GP: It did. It is in favour of democracy.
Q: Did you meet Dr Baburam Bhattarai?
GP: Err..yes. ?No.?No, I didn?t?Yes.
Q: You did or didn?t?
GP: Exactly! That?s what I am trying to remember- I met him or I didn?t.
Q: Whatever, your Delhi trip was successful, no?
GP: Delhi? Which Delhi? Did I go to Delhi? (asking himself)?when did I go?
Now I have no more questions for speculation. With the end of the questions, the answers, too, end. This is a philosophical problem. I couldn?t gather the courage to put philosophical questions to Girija Prasad. Therefore, this speculation, too, ends here.
(This is the translated version of a satarical piece that appeared in the latest issue of Nepal- a leading weekly newsmagazine published from Kathmandu. Translation was done by Akhil Tripathi of Nepalnews.- Ed.)
