Hello guys, I've been here in sajha for more than 5 years but have never posted something like this to seek help. Guys, a lot of people are saying that I have an attitude problem. They think that I am angry even when I am not angry and THAT makes me angry and irritated. any words of wisdom?

You know, people ask me why I'm happy all the time. Just opposite huh? Fren, you should start smiling from today! Don't get mad on people who think you are angry when you aren't. Think they are a bunch of douchebags!!!!!

ello guys, I've been here in sajha for more than 5 years but have never posted something like this to seek help. Guys, a lot of people are saying that I have a farting problem. They think that I am farting even when I am not farting and THAT makes me angry and irritated. any words of wisdom?

Copycat:
Are you an introvert person? If that is the case, you are a angry person in the eye of American people, but in the contest of Asia , you are a great thinker, because your mind is engaged every second. Which gives wrong perception about you because" money talks bullshit works" and you are not like them, but very different. Living as a different person , not like them may is one of the reason your are an angry person.
 
May be something is bothering you and you are always engaged on those issues, and it is true that what ever in your brain running appears in your face. Your face discloses your happy and unhappy feeling and people can read it or see it.

May be most of us have hard time to adjust the norm and culture, and you are still going through the similar phase though you are here for a long time ( We found people staying over 20 years seemed they were here last month, nothing negative but still not able to grasp good part of American culture).







 

"They think that I am angry even when I am not angry and THAT makes me angry and irritated. any words of wisdom?"

Why does it make you angry when other people think you are angry? It seems like you are easily angered. That's why others assume you are angry even when you are not.

Next time someone asks you if you are angry do not get angry! Instead just tell them what you are thinking. Just tell them you are constipated or something to break the ice.

One day, if someone gets up on the right side of the bed and calls me and says, "You are

the greatest person on earth. You are doing a great job and I want you to know I am

honored to call you a friend," I know he is sincere. How does it make me feel? Great. But

the next day, he gets up on the wrong side of the bed, picks up the phone and says, "You

rascal, you cheat, you crook! You are the biggest fraud in town." How does it make me

feel? Terrible.

So the first day when he says "you are the greatest guy," I feel great and the next day

when he says "you rascal," I feel terrible. Who is controlling my life? Obviously, he is. Is

that the way I want to go through life? Not at all. That is being externally driven.

I want to be internally driven. When he calls me and says I am the greatest guy, it is good

to hear those words. But even if he doesn't say those words, in my own estimation, I am

still a good human being. And the next day when he rips me apart, he can't really,

because in my own estimation, I am still a good human being. When people make

statements like, "You make me angry," the focus of control is external. But if I say I am

angry or I choose to be angry, the focus of control is internal.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

--Eleanor Roosevelt

Thank you guys for feedback.

tamanglakola: I could easily get through it by considering them 'douchebags' but I have to deal with them everyday. Cant afford to have any negative feelings, man.

magicmushroom: Do your shrooms smell like a fart? 

syanjali bro: you got it right. I AM an introvert. I dont tend to talk much. So it is not the words that others find offensive. Its my facial expression, I think, that needs some tending. I have felt that my expression doesnt match with my thinking. Thats when they hit me back: 'Dude, dont show me your attitude!'.

grgdai: Hm... I think I get more irritated than angry. But if I am angry, I am more angry at myself for being misinterpreted. I will try that 'constipation' think one day, and will tell you about it !

subrath: words of wisdom- indeed.

i like your attitude copycat unlike most people who would've started world war 3 for copying a comment and changing it. keep it up bro....

Copycat bro, at least realize ta garyou, first and most important step. Word of wisdom- Smoke Weed everyday...haha

is the problem only at work or outside the work  too? maybe some of the co-workers are jerks and there is nothing wrong at your end. but if you really think you have some attitude problem then try this for a week and see how it works. I know u can't do it perfectly but at least give it your best.

truthspeaker: I've tried that and have found out that it is not for me. cant handle its high-ness.

dyam: 1) i'm trying that shit. I'm trying to smile every damn second nowadays. even, like when i am in my washroom, i am trying to keep my face a smiley one. i dont know if that'd work. i'll tell u about it after some time.
2) well i guess, seeking help here is part of positive thinking, isnt it?
3) Its not that i am a sad person inside, its just that others perceive me that way. i am indeed an optimistic fellow. but still i WILL google mindfullness.

thanks guys.

" i'm trying that shit" :P

"enforce positive thinking"

shit != positive thinking friend.

my 2 cents:
you feel that way because you donot know how to interact with people of a different culture. the 'culture shock' that people feel when they leave home depends on your living conditions. If you left home, came here, lived in a house full of nepalis, studied with them, spent your entire day/month/year with them, then your 'culture shock' hasnt started yet because you're still with your people. This 'shock' is of a more severe scale if you've been here in the US for a while, but still havent mixed well with the 'American' folks. And suddenly when you are forced amongst their midst, maybe due to your work, then suddenly you realize that you dont share the same values with any of these people. Now you feel alienated.

I felt that way. Long time ago. Still get that on rare occasions. I've gotten called arrogant, and that I have an attitude, that I'm an angry looking fellow, by my peer americans. Its not your fault man. Its how we were raised, its different, but like a lot of people mentioned above, SMILE :D. You used to do it back home. do it now as well. just smile and wave boys. just smile and wave.

Be confident in what you say, even if its with an accent, they WILL get used to it eventually.